Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Let’s clear things up

There are many questions and statements you do not make to a pregnant lady. I’m taking this time to educate the general public on the best way to approach conversation with a female and her baby belly.

Feel free to say:

When are you due? Oh, (insert month), that will be a great month to deliver.

Is this your first? Simple question, no harm done. Congratulations!

You look amazing.

Your outfit is very nice.

Do you know the baby’s gender? Oh, a boy/girl will be lovely.


Do NOT say:

You will be miserable being pregnant in the summer.

Are you sure you’re not having twins?

When are you due? Oooohhhh, I thought it was much sooner.

You’re going to have a big baby.

Doesn’t your due date feel like it’s soooo far away?

Are you just soooooo miserable?

This is pretty simple right? I know people don’t mean any harm and usually don’t think about what they say to a pregnant lady but come on. There are certain things you just don’t say. Never. Ever.

I am thrilled to be pregnant. I am thrilled to deliver in August. I grew up in SD and have been exposed to hot, HOT summers once or twice. I have air conditioning. Sure I probably will get hot but oh well. I am excited to have a newborn when the weather is still nice. I will be able to go for walks and my maternity leave will go into fall. I love fall and will love to be home during the day to open the windows and feel the crisp CO air. Sure I have pains or cramps or general feelings of fatigue but oh well, I’m growing a tiny human. I am okay with those feelings. I don’t consider pregnancy a miserable state. I LOVE IT. Please stop thinking all pregnant women are miserable and can’t wait for their due date. I’m very excited to meet out little guy but I want him to stay put…he needs to bake longer and that gives me time to prepare mentally and physically. I look forward to spending most of summer with just Lily. It’s my time to focus on her before the start of siblings enters her life.

Please don’t say silly comments, thinking you’re funny or just trying to make conversation that results in hurt feelings. I try and laugh about people’s comments but usually I would love to slap them upside the head. Especially women…that have been pregnant. I don’t care how old your kids are you should know better. Be nice.

7 comments:

Staci said...

Right on. It's like it's a crime to actually enjoy a pregnancy - you have to almost apologize that no, you're not miserable. You're loving every minute of it.

And the "are you sure it's not twins?" thing... having been the recipient of that one (three times from one woman while pregnant with Marianne) I have to say that is the stupidest POSSIBLE comment to make to a pregnant woman if you value your life at all.

Jenni said...

I actually received the twin question from a old family friend that had 2 kids!

Getting that comment 3 times from the same lady???? Oh my goodness...by the 2nd or 3rd time I would have been prepared for a lovely, snotty comeback.

Liz Jimenez said...

Just imagine when you actually *are* having twins. Not only do you get the standard August pity, etc. You also get personal inquiries as to whether or not you were on fertility meds, and general comments of both fear and pity. Uh, thanks people. I'm so glad to have your support and confidence.

"Better you than me!" Yeah, no kidding.

Heather said...

A few of my favorites from being pregnant with the bug...

"You look like you swallowed a basketball."

"You're so lucky all the weight is in front." (Where do other women carry their babies? On their backs?)

And my personal favorite: "Bet your husband can't wait until you hatch, heh, heh, heh."

The nicest thing anyone said to me, which I try to say to other people now: "Looks like you have a beautiful work in progress, there! Congratulations!"

meredith said...

Since this can't be said often enough to anyone expecting a baby, I thought I'd throw it out there again: Congratulations, Jenni! I'm incredibly happy for you!! :)

*Tanyetta* said...

amen!!! :)

here's one for you---why did you wait so long to have another baby?

oh, your first child is by your husband?

i'll stop now but, you get where i'm going with this right? people are idiots!

Anonymous said...

i think, as we have discussed before, that regardless of what month you are due - it's all about enojying your pregnancy...doesn't matter when you're due. the concensus usually are completely and utterly miserable to be pregnant so they don't know how to share in your joy. it will be a very interesting time for me too...Jenni - you are always gorgeous, but even more so when you are pregnant. i love being pregnant! we are a dying breed!