I am a full time working mother. I chose to be. Randy and I could have chosen to live in an apartment, share one car, not have cable tv, 2 cell phones, or not have other “luxuries” of occasional new clothes, haircuts, eating out, etc. But instead we purchased a nice house, own multiple cars, etc. To maintain our lifestyle I have to work. I want to work, I like to work. I don’t know if I could handle staying at home with children all by myself ALL the time. I think mothers or fathers that do this are superheroes. It’s actually easy for me to come to work. I sit at my desk in front of a computer. I don’t do anything else. Being at home with Lily on weekends is exhausting! We have loads of fun but she wears me out. Sometimes Mondays are my vacation days!
My perfect situation would be working part time and being at home part time. I want to be with Lily more than she is with our daycare provider each day. I want to teach her everything (she has started saying eye and will poke me in my eye!) But, in reality, working part time is not feasible at this time. Things will definitely change in the future and maybe it will include part time hours, maybe not, who knows. Right now we make it work. It’s not always easy, especially with Lily being sick the past few days. The first day I stayed home but Randy stayed home the next day. I had feelings of guilt from being a mother and nurse and not tending to my sick child. I went to work because I have used quite a few sick days between Lily and myself already this winter. When I got home from work it was clear Lily and her father had a good day. She loves being with him so I know it’s good for both of them too, that is time without me around.
One VERY frustrating aspect to being a working mother is extra circular activities. I frequently search for fun things to do with Lily like story time at the library, toddler tumbling classes, sign language, swimming, kindermuskic, itsy bitsy yoga, basically any classes that would let Lily and I play together but she could also interact with other toddlers too. Guess when they are offered….right bam smack during the day time. Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9AM-10AM or Mondays and Wednesdays at 1PM-2PM, etc. What about me?? What about working parents that want to stimulate their children or get out of the house for some fun? If I was a stay at home parent I would definitely be participating in some of these activities as a way to entertain outside the house. But why are the only times offered during the day? Where are the angry working parents that are staging protests? Oh yeah, here I am, that person, writing about it on my blog. Definitely not reaching the appropriate people that can change the rules.
To note…there was a swim class on Saturday but the class was full. We were first on the waiting list but never got called. Gee, wonder why those weekend classes were full??
Another slightly annoying but somewhat funny at the same time was a prenatal yoga class. I would love to go to this class and it wasn’t offered during the day!!! So what’s the problem, you ask? It was at 7:30PM…at NIGHT! Most pregnant ladies are busy at 7:30PM….SLEEPING! If I’m not sleeping-- I am tired and laying on the couch, forcing myself awake so Randy can’t make fun of me for falling asleep before 8PM. Sure the sleepiness should get better come the 2nd and 3rd trimester but still. Prenatal yoga at 7:30PM just makes me laugh…in annoyance.
5 comments:
ya know, i'm not a stay at home mom, or a mom at all, but i must admit, I have already taken notice of these types of things too. It's like the consensus of the world IS staying at home with their kiddies. Makes you wonder, what's wrong with me? Why am I working? I once actually thought to myself, wow, i don't think my kids will get to do anything fun cause i will be working and most activities are held during the day. I feel for you Jenni. Rant all you want. I'm listening. I'm sure I will be ranting about it more once i have kids.
I think the mindset is that kids in daycare are doing those activities at the daycare. (I know a friend who's daughter is in a formal daycare - as opposed to the in home kind we use - that offers gymnastics and dancing and all the fun stuff I wish I could take my girls to). But so often parents work till 6:00 or later, so if they offered a 5:30 class, people would say it was no good because they couldn't pick the kids up and get there in time. 6:30 would be in the middle of dinner. 7:30 would be too late for bedtime... Any weekday activities would be hard to swing, really.
I agree, though, that there should be more weekend options. As you know I am home on Tues and Thurs., but I run into a different problem. With the two little girls either classes are too expensive (because we chose to forego those luxuries to allow me to stay home :), or I can put both ages in one class so it doesn't work.
Half the time I feel like I'm making up excuses to avoid having one more structured activity, there are so many reasons I can't work it out. I would love to have the girls in some sort of dance or tumbling, though... if only it really was more convenient.
(Sorry, that was long!)
I used to schedule all kinds of parent-child classes when I worked at Tempe, so I can actually give you a scheduler's-eye view.
Very-little-kid classes are scheduled during the day on weekdays because most adults work. Usually the only people who can take classes during the day are pre-school kids, stay-at-home parents, and retirees. Thus they get the most choices because they're willing and able to come at the least popular times of day.
Rec centers save spaces from 5 pm on for adult classes, because most adults can only take classes after work. Adult classes usually make a lot more money than kid or parent-child classes, because the teacher-student ratio is much higher. So, rec centers give adult classes first pick of the prime evening times between 5 and 8 p.m. because they need the revenue to run.
This left Saturdays, where I worked, to try to meet the needs of kids with working parents. As a result I would pack all the child and parent-child classes I could pack into Saturdays (our facilities were closed Sundays, the city couldn't afford to keep them open). Those classes filled in a heartbeat, and if we had twice as many spaces, we could probably have filled them. Working parents really only have choices on Saturdays and there is a ton of competition out there among such classes. It's all about being quick on the registration draw, unfortunately.
That doesn't solve your problem but maybe it gives insight from the other side of the desk. :)
I used to schedule all kinds of parent-child classes when I worked at Tempe, so I can actually give you a scheduler's-eye view.
Very-little-kid classes are scheduled during the day on weekdays because most adults work. Usually the only people who can take classes during the day are pre-school kids, stay-at-home parents, and retirees. Thus they get the most choices because they're willing and able to come at the least popular times of day.
Rec centers save spaces from 5 pm on for adult classes, because most adults can only take classes after work. Adult classes usually make a lot more money than kid or parent-child classes, because the teacher-student ratio is much higher. So, rec centers give adult classes first pick of the prime evening times between 5 and 8 p.m. because they need the revenue to run.
This left Saturdays, where I worked, to try to meet the needs of kids with working parents. As a result I would pack all the child and parent-child classes I could pack into Saturdays (our facilities were closed Sundays, the city couldn't afford to keep them open). Those classes filled in a heartbeat, and if we had twice as many spaces, we could probably have filled them. Working parents really only have choices on Saturdays and there is a ton of competition out there among such classes. It's all about being quick on the registration draw, unfortunately.
That doesn't solve your problem but maybe it gives insight from the other side of the desk. :)
Insight to the other side of the desk is good but yes, it doesn't help my situation. Thanks though!
Unfortunately, rec centers aren't the only facilites scheduling most toddler activites during the day...also included are libraries, gyms for children, activity centers for children, etc. The WOW! museum and Kangaroo Kingdom offered "open gym" times on Saturdays which is great. But the dedicated toddler time was only offered during the weekday mornings. It's frustrating for me with Lily's age. I want a fun event that I can participate with her, not to drop her off or watch a teacher have 6+ toddlers to handle by themselves.
The rec center I go to has 2 facilities, one dedicated to fitness and the other has a pool, smaller fitness room but mostly rooms for children's activities. They offer a few classes (music for tots and sign language) but neither are offered on Saturdays.
I agree that some classes (not many) are offered in the evenings but it doesn't work for us. I pick up Lily at 5, dinner at 5:30, bedtime at 6:30. And we can't mess with bedtime!
I'll continue to day dream of staying at home with Lily.
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