I want to talk a little about new mom syndrome. I have it, I completely admit it. Will it ever go away? Will a second kid help? My friend, Staci, is my mommy idol. She is very laid back with her 2 girls. I am not that way. When it comes to Lily I want to protect her. I know this could be dangerous. I don't want to overprotect her, she needs to experience life without me looking over her shoulder all the time.
My first new mommy issue is handwashing. Is it really that hard to wash your hands before holding a baby? This is my dilemnia...in my mind it's not hard but I get very uptight when others don't wash their hands or think they don't need to when asked. Do I need to take it down an notch and hope they didn't just pick a booger before holding Lily? And what if they just picked a booger, would it really hurt her? Now if someone is sick, yes, it's very important to wash their hands. But she's getting older and maybe strict hand washing isn't such a necessity. Her immune system is up and running unlike when she was first born.
Just to give my background and try to make you understand why I'm so anal about hand washing. :) I used to work in the NICU and had to instruct families ALL the time to wash up before visiting their premature and/or sick babies. Even though they just walked past the sink with a huge sign reminding them to wash. As I'm writing this I am adding another reason to change my strict hand washing mind set. Lily isn't a sick (besides chronic boogers) or premature baby.
Another smaller new mommy issue--I don't think anyone but Randy or I can take care of her. I'm learning a lesson on that one! Not only does our babysitter do great with her but with my in-laws watching her this week I realize others really do know how! I should have caught onto this sooner since our babysitter has been doing her job for 20+ years and my MIL has 3 kids and 6 grandkids. Everyone is probably thinking what does she know? It's her first baby! Anyhow, I now realize it's about letting go. I could totally write a book about how to care for Lily- what position to burp her, when to do tummy time, etc. If you've dog sat for us you've seen our lists. They get pretty long and that's only for our dogs! I know other people can handle her just fine. Big deal if things aren't done MY way, my lesson learned is that other people love her and take great care of her.
I fully admit to new mommy syndrome and admission of the problem is the first step to recovery, right?? I will add that to my New Year's Resolutions (never too late for resolutions!) and try to rid myself of being overly anal!
3 comments:
You crack me up! You guys are not crazy uptight about Lily. You let other people hold her (even Ted!), and it's not at all unreasonable to ask people to wash hands, especially when she's tiny. It'll have to taper off some in the future, because as soon as she becomes mobile, you won't be able to monitor where her hands are all the time, let alone someone else's. But there's nothing wrong with being protective. Do you remember the crazy instruction lists (maybe we called them "tips" to feel less anal) we left when you and Randy babysat for Marianne? And she was the easiest baby ever.
But I will add that yes, I think having the second kid has pushed me to a point where I just don't have time to worry as much. So I'm more laid back. Keep in mind, though, that we've only had other people watch both girls now maybe 3 or 4 times, because I'm totally paranoid that that's just too much to ask of anyone else and obviously only I am the only supermom who can handle two kids. Oh wait, though. My folks raised two; Nathaniel's raised nine, for pete's sake. I need to let more people babysit my kids... :)
Thanks for the compliment, though. I'm thrilled to be anyone's idol - even if it's because I let dirty-handed people hold my kids!
-Staci
Wow. Sorry that was so long...
I don't think you're being overprotective and I don't even have a child of my own! :) Lily is your daughter and she is young; it's not unreasonable to ask people not to blatently pass their germs on to her.
As to the babysitting, well, I think every parent is like that to some extent. I have done a lot of babysitting in my life, and every parent (and child!) likes to have things done a certain way. It's totally normal! And there's nothing wrong with it. Lily is your daughter, and leaving a list of instructions for someone taking care of her in your absence is more of a help to the caregiver than a problem. But that's just my opinion. :)
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